My favourite mistake

It felt like spring was a long time coming. But it's here now and it doesn't disappoint. A perfect day. An explosion of colors. Clear blue skies, wild flowers of every hue dancing to the whims of an impish breeze, all manner of living things crawling at our feet, buzzing in our ears. Never is the world so full of hope as in spring.
It's infectious, this sense of gladness. I see it translated in the way people are walking, a bounce in their steps. You can see it in the way they absently raise their faces to the sun, the deep breaths they draw, the way they linger outside....concrete has lost its appeal. Only a precious few are cognizant of the magic in the air. But even unaware, we are touched by it. The never-ending cycles of birth and re-birth. Life growing leaf by leaf and the world, its enthralled witness.
Spring is hope. Spring is new life. Spring is to be finally free of you.

I sit on the park bench and watch you watch her. Maybe its her legs, maybe her silken hair. Maybe it's because she's greener grass. Maybe it doesn't matter why. Or maybe it does, and I don't want to know. Taking deep, trembling breaths to keep the hurt at bay. Still, I can't help watching.
As I think, I've been here before. Countless times now in our past. A never-ending cycle of depair and self-directed loathing. Nothing you do can make me leave. And you don't have to do a thing to make me stay. A craving that won't be stopped...but oh, the bitter taste. Now here I am again, watching you watch another. My favourite mistake.
It's been a long, long winter. Never has spring been so long coming. When it comes, I wonder..will Spring disappoint?