One day at a time

I sometimes wonder when people are truly themselves. I ask that because of the myraid roles we take on in life. The different things we are to different people. And surely some of them are not us. While some of it...why, some of it is so much us that it leaves you feeling stripped. And slightly afraid.

Even as I start this I think, can I commit? Can I give this project enough of myself, day after day, time after time? After all, the fact remains that I have 'commitment issues'...(psycho babble....because people expect it). And here...this here is the real reason I hesitate. Because already it has become about others. And I'm so tired of that. All that role-playing that you can't turn off. Everytime I write I know I'll be bleeding a little bit of myself over these pages and this only means the fear will be worse. Love me! Don't stop! Sometimes I cringe at what I see in the dark mirrors of my soul. And sometimes I think..well, you've gotten this far..just a little bit more...one day at a time...